Oh to find joy in the teary-eyed, weary-worn days.
God holds tight and clings close and I feel Him moving closer, holding tighter, catching me when I start to fall and reminding me to look for Him in the moment.
That moment when the idols scream and it becomes about me - about what I think will make me happy in that given moment.
But really, that idol, will crash and burn and pull me right along with it if I let it sneak in and take over. Let it steal the joy - the grace that I balance on when nothing else makes sense.
In lack of sleep and late nights and cranky children where is that moment? Does it start before I get out of bed? That I'm at least awake before them? Or is it that moment where they really.don't.want. breakfast and it's a battle of just one.more.bite.
At what moment do I let the idol rise up within and block out the Light of Him who is the I Am in all my moments. Because in that moment, I have the choice.
Will I choose to cling to the cross of the One Who has already paid the price and WON the victory, or will I choose to let the whispers of this idol close in and capture the elusive joy that searches for ways to stay put?
Because, in Christ the victory is always ours. He has won the battles and if I am living defeated it is because I have chosen to let the enemy take my idol and turn it into my god.
He Who Is, Who Was and Who Is to come holds my life in His hand and in Him I can live in joy, in grace, in freedom for He has paid the price for my (many) idols.
And I am thankful.
For there are days when the idols win and take control and I stumble and trip right into the mud of my own making. But I learn and lean and grow in Him and trust that I am loved and it makes all the difference in the world.
The falling before Jesus to confess the idol, and to watch Him as He walks with me and teaches me how, on a daily basis, to surrender to Him and Him alone. My King teaches me that I am held tight and that He is fighting these idols with me and for me and He has already won.
Maybe I need to start living like it.