Thoughts on Thankfulness

Thankfulness!?

Sometimes I feel like it is a setting on a washing machine - one that broke off somewhere along the way.

God commands, yes commands, me to be thankful in ALL circumstances.

Every. 


Single. 


One.

Will I?

Because it is a choice.

Will I give thanks for the darkness, for the struggle that comes from leaning on feelings instead of truth, for my kids - even when they have pushed every button and revealed sin in my life I would rather ignore?

Will I thank my God who has blessed me with everything, the good and the hardest of hard, or do I choose to grow bitter and resentful, making it about me and what I want?

Because it is a choice.

I sometimes forget that if I am not finding joy in the giving of thanks, I am - by default- letting bitterness take hold and telling God that I do not really trust Him with everything.

Oh I pray that gratitude will take root in my heart. That I will truthfully be able to be thankful for ALL things and IN all things.

Because I want God more than I want anything else and if that means trusting Him and learning to be thankful then I want that.

I want to be thankful when it doesn't make sense to be thankful so that I can tell of the reason for my Hope.