Exhaustion takes over and I find that in a day, a week, a two week span, that I am sleeping more than I am awake.
I function, because I have 3 little ones clamouring, calling, needing (food or toys or cuddles). I would rather not - but that's not a choice, it really isn't. These little lives have been gifted to me, to Troy, and they are gifts to raise, to train up in they way they should go, and to leave them to their own devices, even over the course of a short season - is not a choice, at least not for me.
So I lean on God.
I trust Him even when I don't understand what He is doing. I let Him carry me through the day and , in the process, do the bare minimum (which lately, has consisted of t.v, popcorn and apple slices all morning while mommy sleeps on the couch, lunch, nap-time and then an attempt to do something by late afternoon be it a board game or painting or stories)
I am thankful this is just a season, a journey that will, one day, have an ending point.
It is by God's graciousness and strength that I am sustained on this path and I am thankful. Thankful too for what I am learning,
Is there frustration? Most definitely!
Are there days when I wish it wasn't me? Um...yeah!
Do I want it to end, to stop, to get on with *normal* life? Yes
But will I trust that this is good? I will because God is good.