It's one of those mornings -
A morning where I see my need for God and His strength before my feet hit the floor at the side of the bed - even before my eyes are fully open.
The little kid voices in the bathroom and screams and whines that the giggles quickly turn to remind me that without a Saviour, I too would crumple in a ball on the floor in a fit. That there is nothing good in this life of mine without Him.
God plants seeds of joy in the deepest parts of our heart for the days when I just can't fight the darkness anymore. The seeds are there, waiting, reminding me that He loves me, cares for me, carries me through.
It brings a budding of joy, that small reminder that I am never truly alone, that these roads I walk, the paths I take, there is always ALWAYS good along it. For I am in His hands and even when I do not have the strength to cling to Him, He will never leave me, He IS my strength and He is enough.
I try to teach my kids that Jesus is the most important thing in life. That the rest of it doesn't matter, that there is nothing without Him, without the Saviour, without His love and care and mercy and forgiveness.
Days spin into days and I realize too that without Him, I cannot teach my kids anything - for on my own I am helpless, weak.
Do my actions and words portray my desperate need and love for my God?
Do they teach my kids to look up even when their world seems to be falling apart?
to be crumbling?
Do my words and actions point to the Creator, to the Lover of my soul in the midst of days where chaos reigns and darkness spills?
I pray that they do, but I know that there are days when they don't and all I can do is lift my kids, my life, up to Him who holds us tight. Give our lives over to Him in complete trust that He is the author and perfecter of life and it is in His will and timing that He saves, that He teaches, that He changes hearts.