Dreams

There are times, at least in my life anyway, that are filled with dreams.

Big dreams, little dreams, dreams about the future.

And then there are time that the dreams take root in my heart, tugging and pulling me a long. Not in a bad way, in a way that makes me thankful for a God who is capable of knowing my heart, inside and out, and filling it with dreams that make me smile. . . even if that is all they are, just dreams.

But then again, becuase He knows the desires of my heart, they may end up becoming reality in His timing, and that would be o,k too.

We;ve been looking at property just outside of town lately, dreaming about the old-school, two story farm house with a wrap-around porch we would build, the fun the kids would have being able to run lose. It's a dream right now, nothing more, but it is a dream that makes us smile and pray that He will provide in HIS timing, the spot that we are dreaming about.

The Wonder of Spring

There is something about spring that I absolutely l.o.v.e. Every change in season is special and I do love them all, but spring and fall happen to be my favourites.

There is just something about spring, about the way it changes moods, gives life and hope that make it so special. Maybe it comes from the fact that winters, at least in this part of the country, tend to be long, cold and dark. Maybe it comes from the joy of watching new life spring forth from a hard, barren ground.

Whatever the reason, I love it.

And I think my kids love it too!

*Planting* Springtime

We planted seeds Monday morning,
and everyday,

sometimes more than once,

Alexandra has watned to know,

where the flowers are,

and when she will be able to see them. It's a lesson in patience and life and growth.

And they loved every minute of it!

Has it really been a week??

WOW! What a busy, fun, crazy week. We have been on March Break here and it has been *great*. We took the kids bowling and they loved it, even Owen would pick the balls up and carry them over to the lane and drop them. Then he'd stand there and clap as they'd roll to the end, it was really cute.

Bowling is the only thing I managed to get pictures of, seeing as I didn't go ice fishing with the big kids, I wanted too but was babysitting and Owen is still a little young to be gone ALL day. Anthony and Alexandra had a blast though. Alexandra is already talking about going fishing in the boat come summer!

Anthony had a sleepover with his aunt and uncle. He got to shoot his first bb gun (yeah, mom was thrilled to hear that. . .but he is a boy and loves that kind of stuff AND I know he was safe!) and found a nest and some eggs from last year so they are now gracing our front door (because I refused to bring them inside, mostly because Anthony would want to sleep with them!)

There were birthday parties to go to and dinners out and last night we were over at a friend's house to have a fire and cook s'mores. It was a wonderful way to end the break (and the kids even slept in this morning!!)

Now it is back to routine. The girls haven't seen all that much of eachother over the last week despite me babysitting because Alexandra has been out so much, so they are actually playing very nicely this morning. We have plans to decorate pots and plant some beans, marigolds and sunflowers today.

Life is flying by. I am having trouble believing that this is the last full week of March. Seriously? Where did it go? Before I know it, Easter is going to be here and then it will be Owen's birthday (there is no way he is going to be 2!).

There are days when I feel like I blink and miss so much of what is happening. Trying to be intentional about slowing down and savouring this time, these years that pass in a blur of motion.

I'm listening to the girl's playing downstairs and they are making me smile. I love being able to listen in without them realizing it. You can learn so much about who they are by how they play.

Hope Springs Forth

The sweet smell of damp earth blows through open windows. Open windows, at this time of year, it fills me with a joy that goes above everything. A joy that comes from the one who has created the warthm of the breezes blowing through the house. Ushering out the last of winter, bringing with it the hope and life of spring.
There is something, about being able to turn on outside taps and watch little ones spray a van with water and beg to be allowed to use the soapy brush that tugs my heart strings. It wont be long before it will be a chore for them, something for them to roll their eyes about being asked to do. But today, today it is pure joy, giggles and squeals and "But mommy, the ground needs a little more water so the flowers can grow" and not being able to resist the cuteness that her face radiates as she asks.
Laundry on the line, blowing freely in the very breeze that brings my house to life, hanging there in the sun. Simple really, but so pleaseing to the eye. Waiting patiently, unhurried in the midst of a crazy busy life, maybe that's why it draws me in. Reminds me of a time long ago, a time where there was a different pace to life. Not easier or harder, just different and part of me longs to be back there, in that time. But knowing all the wonders that I would miss out on at the same time.
The backyard coming to life, leftover leaves, lingering around since the first snow, have found their way into piles, waiting to be put the the curb, roaring and screaming and the sound of light sabers wacking at punching bags strung from a swing set. Sleds being used on the slide and the pride that shines from his faces as he discovers how much fun it is when you come up with our own ideas for play.
Waiting and watching for the first flowers in the back. Both big kids are just as excited about it. Questioning, asking, wondering when they will appear from the frozen, yet thawing, ground. I'm waiting too, anxious for that first sign of life renewing, knowing full well that there is still the possiblity of a winter storm, but hoping that maybe this is it. Spring might just be here, looking for the first buds to appear, the first tender shoots of grass to sprout out of the brown.
* * * * * *
My heart is happy for my Anthony, we had a little friend of his over today, someone he hasn't actaully spent time with before, but a kid from his class who he asked to have over. They have a lot in common those two boys, They are b.o.y.s and love to be rough and tumble and active. It is SO nice for me to see him asking to have kids his age over to play. For all his outgoingness with adults, he is not very social with kids. He's like me in that sense and I have spent a lot of time in prayer over his friendships, hoping that he will find even one kids he can connect with on a true friend level.
Life has been crazy and full of so many many things lately, I haven't even been able to find the words to write. And that's not a bad thing, I miss it sometimes, that being able to put thoughts into words, but I do know that it will come evenually and I am content to just lay silent until they do.

Little Miss Sunshine

Can you tell she didn't want her picture taken?!

So many, many thinks to be thankful for lately. The list would be endless.

• sunshine
• warm weather
• greenish grass
• smiles
• little kid belly laughs
• a visit with a close close friend
• march break and a couple day break from babysitting
• friendships in general
• being able to go out for dinner simply because it's been a long day
• facebook and the *connections* that happen there
• family
• sweet conversations with my oldest
• listening to Alexandra sing made up songs of praise, simply because she wants to dance
• friends who remember that coffee and swedish berries are my weakness and go to the trouble to bring me some on my birthday!!
• a caring, considerate, selfless husband who does SO SO much for me and the kids
• good books (that I can read cover to cover in 2 days)
• splashing in puddles and cracking ice all on the same day
• the smell of spring and earth and dampness that comes this time of year
• the daylight that lasts longer and longer each day
• clear, velvet black skies with the glowing of stars
• parks that have the swings up
• little ones that LOVE the slide and know how to climb the stairs to use it
• cameras and pictures and the little bit of happiness they bring

Well, there's more, but it's late. I love that God has blessed me with so so much, even on the days when it is a struggle for me to remember what I am thankful for (or that there IS anything to be thankful for...sad that I can live in such rich country and forget that there are things to be thankful for....all because my attitude is crappy....working on changing that though)

It's almost March Break and I am looking forward to all the wonderful adventures our little family is going to have. The big kids get to go ice fishing, we'll all go bowling and mini putting and out for dinner. We were thinking of going to Duluth, but decided that if we stayed here it would be 1)cheaper 2)less stress 3)we can do things we wouldn't normally get a chance to do. I'm excited to be getting a couple day break from babysitting too, not the full week, but enough that we can connect as a family again.

My life in the past 24 hours

Two nights ago I woke up puking, lovely, I know. I had thought I had managed to escaspe it, seeing as my kids had it a week to a week and a half ago. Apparently not, appaarently it was just laying in wait to ambush me at some unexpected time, and boy did it ever! It's been awhile since I felt so crummy.

I love Troy though, am so incredibly thankful for him. He took a sick day yesterday and stayed home with the kids. That was exactly what I needed, as I slept almost all day, I think I was awake for maybe a total of 6 hours in 24...maybe, but that might be stretching it. My super husband even took all three kids out to McDonald's Playplace for dinner to give me some more quiet time. I am so thnkaful for him. Thankful that he is taking the kids swimming this morning so I can rest a little bit more.

I am feeling better, just have no energy (not eating in a day and a half will do that to you!) and a headache that is boarding on a migrane (love those!)

Not exactly how I was planning on spending my birthday weekend. There had been plans for dinner out and a movie and just time to hang out with eachother as a family. But you know what, Being knocked flat on my back has forced me to take help (which I'm not very good at) and let someone else do the things that I normally do on a regular basis.

I had to giggle to myself as I listened to the little voices yesterday as Troy was getting ready to get Anthony off to the school bus. It took a lot of effort on my part to NOT comment and put my two cents in!

Today is sunny and warm, 8 degrees C and I am so excited, this warm weather and sunshine is breathing new life into my soul and I am thankful. I love the smell of spring and the sound of the snowwater melting and trickling down the sidewalk and off the side of the house.

I find that I am washing snowsuits almost everyday as they are drenched and covered in mud by the time we find our way back inside, but it is worth every minute of extra work to be out in the sunshine and enjoying a life outdoors. I don't remember the last time that March in Northern Ontario was this warm, but I for one, am NOT taking it for granted. We have been living outside this past week.

My tummy is telling me it's hungry so I am off to find food and maybe have another short little nap before the big kids come home from swimming lessons. My mother in law is here watching Owen so I cna get some rest. I am thankful for that too.

Lots of blessings, even in the midst of feeling crummy. And I am so thankful for them.

Political Correctness

You know political correctness has gone to far when you click on a news link and read this:

"OTTAWA - All those renditions of O Canada during the Vancouver Olympics seem to have the Prime Minister's Office singing a new tune.
Maybe it was all those women athletes on the podium that did it. Whatever the cause, the Conservative government is not standing on guard for O Canada and has proposed re-examining the anthem's reference to "all thy sons command."
One of the surprises in Wednesday's speech from the throne was a promise to "examine the original gender-neutral English wording of the national anthem."
While a spokesman for Prime Minister Stephen Harper later insisted the government is not taking a firm position, Andrew MacDougall did confirm they are referring to an examination of the phrase "in all thy sons command."

Seriously?? Give me a break. This is going WAY to far. If it offends someone, my advice? Get over yourself. It's our national anthem and it was written YEARS ago. Don't mess with it when it's not broken.

And that's my rant. I'm done now.

Here's the original article should you feel the need to read it all.

Cuteness (and a little babbling too)

Miss "L"

and my Princess

I love these pictures, they are some of my favourites. They almost make me think I could do this thing called photography for others. . .almost.

There are days I hate the fact that I am a perfectionist, that I am insecure in my abilities, that I am sometimes, only capable of seeing what's wrong with the thing, and not what is good.

Not just in pictures, but in so many other places too.

Not good. . .at all.

Trying to surrender that need to be perfect, trying to let it go and know that I don't need to be perfect, I just need to be willing to surrender and change and grow as I am being called to.

Last week was long, too long. Sick kids, cold weather, not getting out of the house,
life, really.

But the weekend was wonderful.

Swimming and skating and friends over to watch the gold medal hockey game.

Sunshine and warm weather and snow that is melting faster I thought was possible at this point in the year.

Thankful for so much, the Thursday evening communion service at church (a rarity, but very much needed for this momma's heart)

Little kid laughter and healthy kids this Monday morning.

For a husband that let me sleep in this morning and kids the actually woke up happy (makes all the difference in the world to the tone of our day!)

Thankful that I get to see a very good friend in the not to distant future (!) and super excited about it.

Shocked at the fact that I turn 30 very very soon...

30...sheesh, there are days when I still feel about 18!

Well, it is beautiful here today, and I think it is time to take advantage of that fact and get the kids outside.

Working on seeing the good this week, the blessings that surround me on a daily basis.