Three

Owen;

Oh my sweet boy! I am sad this evening, in a happy sort of way. This past year has seen you change and grow and succeed in things I thought would take you longer to master. It has seen you come into your own and grow more independent and strong-willed (this seems to be a theme with my children....some more than others!).

I love that you still want to snuggle and be carried. There are days, that by the end, the last thing I want is for you to tug at my leg or hold on so tight, but I love it, truly.

We celebrated your third birthday with friends today, despite the fact that it is not *official* until Thursday.
And I am so thankful for you. God has blessed us in very special ways with all three of you kids and I pray for you to grow in love and knowledge of Him who created you.

Your dad and I joke that you are all boy. And you are, and that's not a bad thing! If it involves dirt, diggers (or other vehicles), loud noises, or being higher or faster you are all about it.

It was fun watching you at your party, surround by two little girls whom you adore and play well with - that distinction of *boy* just stood out all the more! It made me smile and thank God for the wonderful personality (that often daily drives me crazy!)

I am a little sad. We are leaving the baby stage and that is exciting and wonderful and an adventure of it's own, but at the same time, it leaves a bittersweet feeling in my heart.

I have loved watching you (and your brother and sister) grow and change and learn. But I love the newborn-ness and little baby stages, knowing that we are moving past that fills me with joy at all there is to come and with a gratefulness for all that I have been blessed with, but it leaves a little yearning too.

I know that will go in time, and that the excitement and joy will win out over the sentimental, but for now I may hug you a little longer or hold on just a bit tighter.

Owen, I am looking forward to see who you are becoming and what you will do or where you will go in this life of yours.

Happy Birthday Owen Caleb!

Mommy and Daddy love you very very much.

Owen and his friends.

Finally, warmth AND sun!

The kids are soon to be with the in-laws and Troy and I are to have a weekend for us. Some of it spent here at home, enjoying the quiet (and the sleeping straight through the night) and some of it will be spent in Duluth, enjoying a hotel, eating out and sightseeing.

It has been far too long since we have had time away for more than an hour or two and I am really looking forward to the time with him. To enjoy him and talk and just to be the two of us.

I have some great pictures of Anthony, I'll get there in another post, for now I am going to get the pizza out of the oven and make sure the bags contain everything the kids will need for one night away ;)

Wordless Wednesday

Playing Catch-Up

Life has been speeding by.

I blink and suddenly we are almost half way through May.

When did THAT happen?

I learned to crochet....see the pretty hat? And as a result, have made at least 5 hats in the past 2 weeks....might be just a little bit obsessed with crafting. I knitted the owl as a shower gift for my  great nephew and have pulled out the sewing machine again.

Alexandra had her year end concert for dance last Saturday. She did great and loved every second of it, no real surprise there. Troy gave her flowers at the end and her eye just lit up (even more then they already were!)

There is just something so special about a dad giving his daughter flowers.

There are a few older girls at our church who dance with the same company, and Alexandra adores Megan. Wants to sit with her on Sundays and everything. 

 I am thankful there are young ladies in our church for her to look up to and befriend. I think it's really important. Not just for girls, but for the boys too.

Alexandra is my little helper. She LOVES (and thrives) in helping anywhere she is able. We were out at my sister-in-laws for a fish fry last weekend and Alexandra was helping put potatoes in the pots and getting everything organized.

Owen turns 3 on the 19th (yikes!) and he is still very much Owen. This picture give you a good idea of what he's like.....it makes me smile every time I look at it.

 He was hiding in the bedroom, would tip-toe out, put the "noculors" up and then run back into the room when he saw someone.

 My kids are in love with their baby cousin (or 2nd cousin...I'm never really sure how these things work!) And both Alexandra and Owen want to hold Lee any chance they get. It really is sweet watching them interact with Lee.

 We had a baby shower for him and I made these cupcakes (with the help of the kids, because I can't bake without....which is a good thing!)

 Anthony's favourite part about holding Lee? 

Is the fact that Lee *punches* him in the nose.

Anthony laughs and laughs and says "again Lee" and coos at him.

It just melts my heart. 

I have so much to be thankful for.

grass is starting to be more green then brown. It made me silly happy!

early morning bubble baths and the giggles and splashing that it brings

bike rides

children napping

a quiet morning and the chance to snuggle and read with my oldest

toys cleaned, organized and put away

preparations for a weekend away going smoothly (and for a husband who did all the planning!)

sunshine

drizzles of rain and the excitement of umbrellas and rain boots

a brand new baby and the chance to sit and soak up all that baby goodness.

learning to release idols and the joy that it brings

school days

kids playing content

bbq season

Life is full and I wouldn't have it any other way. God is continually opening my eyes to the blessings He provides in abundance and I am learning to rest daily in His grace.

There are days when I am so exhausted I could cry and there are days when I am so filled with contentment and the flooding of peace that it makes the hard days worth it.

Ramblings of a Tired Mommy

I am thankful for the warmth that is in the sunshine this morning - despite the temperature being below 0, for the crispness in the air, the singing of birds, clothes on the line and peace and joy that are surrounding me this week.

The past few weeks have been interesting. . .

I notice that there are times when I cling, tightly, to something (or a few somethings in this case) and that when I do, it affects every aspect of my life.

There is no joy to be found in the idol, yet I am incapable of smashing it.

Sure, I try. I knock it over half-heartedly, expecting it to stay down.

But on my own, I am powerless to destroy that which wants to take the place of God in my life.

It is only by laying it before Him. By asking God to smash it to a million pieces, that I can be free from the longing and striving of the idols in my life.

I've been trying to teach Anthony about seeking God first. That how he responds to a situation reflects the thoughts and feelings resting in his heart. Not that those are necessarily wrong, but the way in which we react and express them says a lot about where our trust and hope lay.

There have been a whole lot of melt downs and tears and anger from my oldest lately and I am at a loss. My heart aches because he doesn't seem happy or content.  And my heart hurts from the words the fall from his mouth some days.

I am struggling with him.

I know that God has Anthony. That I am not able to change hearts and fill him with a desire for God. But it is my prayer that God will work. That Anthony will come to know Him and trust Him.

Not because it will be easier for me, but because of the peace and hope and joy that will fill Anthony's life.

Right now, it is always someone else's fault (by default, usually mine) and he knows the right answers, spews them out in response.

Is Anthony not getting something he needs? I question and wonder and pray that God will guide me, teach me and help me to mother this sweet child of mine.

I don't know what to do.         I am at a loss.          I am struggling.         I am hurting.

The Folklore Festival this past weekend was so much fun. Alexandra and Owen were mesmerized by all the dancing. They would just stop and stare.

I love that there are so many different cultures celebrated in this city and that there is a place where I can take the kids so they can see the dances and taste the food from some of these different areas of the world. 

p.s

Do we rejoice at the death of a world leader because of what he stood for?

I don't think it is ever alright to rejoice in or celebrate the death of a person (not talking in the context of celebrating that they are spending eternity in worship and communion with Jesus, free from pain and sorrow and suffering).

God's timing in perfect.

Always. 

I listen to the news and the theories and all I can think is:

God's got this too. His way, His planing, His timing.

A man may plan his deeds but God directs his steps (loosely paraphrased there.....). Even in the context of free will and choice (I don't understand but I know it's Truth)

This is NOT a surprise to God.

The aftermath is NOT a surprise to God.

He uses even those who stray so far from Him in His Kingdom plan.

We will never understand it this side of heaven (and we may not understand in there either), but God is in control.

And that fills me with peace.

There is evil, there is pain, there is war and death and sorrow.

But there is peace because I rest my security on the Rock Who cannot be shaken.

I will trust in the midst of trouble and chaos that God is directing and planing and using.

Yesterday, today, tomorrow. 

There are no surprises in store for God. 

And there is great hope and peace in that for me.

Freedom

A lot on my mind this morning.

A fair amount of it political.

Which amuses me, because I'm not political. In fact, really I couldn't care less.

I don't usually speak my mind in matters of politics for several reasons, mostly because I don't usually know what I am talking about because I don't follow it alot at all.

But.....

This morning Canada votes. As a country we go to the polls and check a box, place a leader in position.

It is a comfort to me that God already knows the outcome of today. That His hand is in this - whether our country admits to it or not. That's the great thing about God.

I am thankful that today, I have the privilege of being about to voice my opinion. I may not care for politics, but there are people dying for this right. I am thankful to have it, thankful for a God who holds the outcome in His hands and thankful that we, as a country have the freedom of opinion, of decision. There are so many people who take this opportunity to vote as a right, take it for granted, use their freedom to not for because they can or they don't care or they think the leaders aren't good enough.

Our three choices are human. Are fallen. Are politicians.

But, they will not rule our country through dictatorship, through force or tyranny. They will take our collective opinions into account in their leading of the country (although often-times it seems like they don't).

So I am thankful for today. For the voting booths that are NOT lined with soldiers keeping peace, for the fact that we can cast our vote without fear of repercussions to us or our families. For the fact that we can cast our vote at all.

Craziness

 There are days where I wish God would stop the sun in the sky and give me another hour (or three).

Days where that extra time would be used to savour the moments of enjoyment and delight and to finish off everything that really, truly does need to get finished before I fall into bed tonight.

Today is one of those days.

Between Alexandra's dance lesson, an unexpected trip to the walk-in clinic, the Folklore Festival (at which Alexandra was dancing), making (and decorating) cupcakes, buying groceries, finishing a stuffed, knitted owl and a crochet hat I'm not really sure where my head is today.

But I do know that God has His hand all over today.

In every little thing, and in every little moment and I am grateful that I can see that.

I can see Him in the way my daughter smiles and giggles on stage, in the way that (by His grace) I didn't snap in my hunger induced impatience and the fact that I am excited for all that needs to still be done tonight.

Living in the moment.

Enjoying what I am doing right now (in this case typing a blog when there are better things on my to-do list
that should be being accomplish....but this is my sanity check....I digress!)

And not stressing about what still needs to be accomplished.

Captured

There are times when there are no words.

To find the right ones to convey all the is going all.

All the goodness,

joy,

contentment.

All the moments of weakness,

the smashing of idols,

the reminders to stop and find joy in each moment.

It is at those times, that I am thankful for my camera. 

For God who lets me look through the lens and see Him.