Excitment and Expectations

1 week today and I am off. Praying God will work in my heart, that I will learn what He is wanting me to learn, that I will be obedient to the leading of His Holy Spirit.

I am going with expectations that God is going to continue the work He has already started in my life. For I know that He has brought me to this place in my wakl with Him and I know that He is not just going to leave me (how AWESOME is that!!), for He promises to bring His works to completion at the day of Christ Jesus.

Deeper Still: The Event

For those interested in where I'm going and what it's about!

Tantrums and Hissy Fits (oh my!!)

One of these days she's gonna outgrow these tantrums.....right? Please someone tell me there's light at the end of this.

Her will is SO strong and I am at a loss. You tell her it's breakfast and the shrieking can last for 30 mins, simply because I have said breakfast is ready. Or I'll tell her to clean up the ponies on the floor and she'll go and dump ALL her toys and her brother's toys all over her room, pull the DVD's off the shelf, fling the kitchen set to the floor and attempt to knock over the toy stand. And then it will take 2 hours of constantly going and telling her to pick up and put away and the running away and the starting all over again)

I am D.O.N.E.

What do I do? How do I handle it? Trying to be patient and gentle, wanting to LOSE IT after about the 4th fit in 2 hours.

She is so sweet and helpful and kind and then there's this flip side, a side that has seemingly reared it's ugly head in the past two week (although, I've known it's always been there, even from a baby it's just manifested itself recently)

Leaning on God, holding on to the fact the she is His child and He will work in her. Trying to cling to that hope while teaching her that there are appropriate ways to share her displeasure and that it's not all about what she wants. (not sure how much she takes in admidst the screaming and the talking over me)

Knowing I need to be gentle and patient and gracious and falling flat by noon some days (heck, I'm lucky if I even make it that far!)

I am exhausted by it.

And there are days when I wonder what the point is.

It's been a long weekend of shrieking and screaming and kicking and throwing and this morning hasn't started off any better. What do I do? Anyone??

Praying for patience by the boatload today, because I'm not gonna make it through in my own strength!

Remembering today, that God is good, He is in control and that His will is all I want for my life.

Sometimes, those are good things to be reminded of!

1 week, 5 days till my mommy comes to visit and 2 weeks till I head to Oklahoma City with two other ladies for the Deeper Still conference. I am looking forward to both things so very much.

Days

Somedays are just plain hard. Even filled with peace and the knowledge that I am where I should be, there are days that are still hard.
There have been a couple this week.
Days when I forget to ask God to get me through the frustration or I let the selfishness bubble over.
Days when I'm just plain sad.
Days when I wish I had the words to articulate the feelings that are washing over me in a way that was coherant to those around me. (days I wish I could spell, but that's beside the point)
Days when I long for my words to show my heart.
(That being said, there are also days when I am thankful that I can still feel His Spirit moving, telling me to let go of the resentment or frustration. Moments when I can find that gentleness that I long for and the peace that comes with being in His will. And there have been those moments this week too.)
There are days I hate living in this city. . .
not because it's a bad city, or because I am not content here, simply because it is far away.
Tonight it's because I'm far away from a friend, really wanting to be there and knowing that even if I was, there is nothing I could do that I can't do from here (except hug).
Days when I wonder why it is that some people have one thing after another fall on their lap almost continually and others seem avoid it.
Knowing that God works ALL things for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose and praying for that end tonight.
Wanting to share more so that you can pray too, but knowing that it is not mine to share.
So tonight I pray for peace and His presence and joy and a hedge of protection around a friend who has had a rough fall. Praying that even in the midst of everything that His light will shine brightly.

Sweet Friends

I've gotten to know the mom in this family pretty well over the past 7 weeks. We are doing a bible study together.
She is a sweet, *real*, woman of God and I have been blessed by the friendship.
So of course, when she had her baby almost 2 weeks ago, I couldn't resist taking some famiy pictures for them. Took them yesterday while my kids played with her son's toys.
They are just a beautiful family!

Almost 18 months...

He's what?? Seriously? How did THAT happen??

I am having a hard time letting this little boy grow up. He is my baby Why is he crying?

I wouldn't let him touch the camera! Excuse the blurriness, but it is one of my favourites.

(holding a camera still while holding a squirming kid, not so easy!)
Today, was sunny and warm, I had all the windows open and have been cleaning like crazy (minus two kids again today, they are sick).

The house has not been this clean since just before Owen was born (and no, I am NOT pregnant) I blame the cleaning and organizing on the fact that the weather suddenly feels like it is spring again.

I was a grouch this morning. In a bad mood and frustrated but that quickly changed, Alexandra, Owen and I had monster chases and tickle fights in the living room. It's amazing how quickly that chases the blahs away!

We wrapped presents (it's Troy's birthday tomorrow) and made cards and talked with Grandma on the phone.

Today I am learning to let go of the selfishness and to live in Him, as He wants me to. Full of gentleness and patience and resting in His joy.

And I am.

The things that God has been working on in my heart and life are incredible. It has been a looooong time since I have been in this place and I am so thankful for His faithfulness and the Truth He continues to teach me.

"If you seek Me, you will find Me if you search for me with all your heart." (Jeremiah something!) And I have been and you know what? I'm finding Him.

More and more and more.

One Proud Mama

I am so proud of Anthony this morning. Troy's hunting so we were without the car to get to swimming lessons. Anthony biked all the way to Churchill pool, swam for 45 minutes and biked all the way home without complaining once.

What a trooper he is.

Now he is sitting on the couch eating pancakes, chips a kitkat bar and drinking lemon water while watching t.v. (I think he deserves it!)

Happy Dance

I get an unexpected break tomorrow. Just Alexandra and Owen at home. The girls I babysit are with their Grandma and Anthony is at school.

I love how God answers prayers. I've been needing a break, praying for one actually. Just a day, a day with MY kids, a day to just be and do and play whatever it is that MY kids want to play.

Don't get me wrong, I love that fact that I have been given the priviledge of caring for the other two, I am just so thankful that it is just mine tomorrow.

A day to go to storytime and maybe run a few errands and go find a birthday present for Troy. A day to work on a baby quilt, play tea party and cars, to read books and tickle and laugh and to remind my kids just how truly special they are to me.

I am thankful for this break. Thankful to a God who is faithful and trustworthy.

Praying that your weeks are filled with unexpected blessings too.

Photo Challenge: Balloons

It's been a while since I have participated in a challenge with i heart faces.

This week the theme is balloons and I knew exactly which one I wanted to use.

This is Anthony on his birthday (yeah, I know, real creative!)

Head on over to i heart faces to join in the fun (or see the other really creative enteries!)

Brand New

A friend had a baby girl (Grace, 7lbs 1oz) friday, I got to take a few pictures yesterday when I went to visit. I am hoping to get some more later in the week, once they have had a chance to settle in and Alexandra has stopped hacking on everything!