Craftiness

Pinterest has got me hooked. I love it and the incredible creations I can find there.

I made these based on a couple of things I saw there that I was to *lazy* or *cheap* to try.

 For this one, I cut strips of construction paper about 1cm wide by the length of the paper, tied a loose knot and folded it around into a star...once I find the link that actually shows pictures I'll post that ;)
Then I just filled a clear glass ornament full.

These ones are super easy and SO not time consuming.....ribbon shoved (literally) into clear ornaments!

But they are oh so pretty!

Scattered

I'm grouchy today. Just blah and don't have the motivation to do anything. Not in the house, not with the kids.
Not anything.

I don't know what it is.

The dishes pile high on the counter, the kitchen table looks like it has been attacked by a craft monster, the floors are in desperate need of a cleaning, the bathrooms could stand a good scrub down, laundry needs to get put away and the list goes on....

Frankly? I.don't.care.

Except that I do. For I want to work at everything as if working for the Lord.
For this place, this home, these four walls and 3 kids, are my calling. It's where I am supposed to be. What I am supposed to be investing in and training them up and setting an example and this morning? Well, it's just not there.

Sometimes I feel very alone. I go through days where my only interaction is with my kids. And not that that is a bad thing, but there are days I long for more. Something different. A connection of some sort. Today is just one of those days. Where I wonder why I do what I do. If anyone notices.And I know that the One who truly matters. That He notices it all. But sometimes. . . and it is totally my insecurities talking here....I just want to know that I am needed, that I am doing OK, that ...yeah, I'll stop there.

God is all I need and I have been so grateful at the amazing ways He has been working in my life and showing me Himself. I spent a long time longing for an intimate closeness with Him and these past 3 weeks have been amazing, God-given, grace-filled days-moments-minutes of pure peace and joy in the midst of the crazy. And I am in awe of that.

It truly has been like God surrounded me in a bubble filled with Him. It's not a feeling I take for granted. As I look for Him in places, I have found it easier (sometimes) to be patient and gentle when speaking with my kids, God's provided me with the strength to work through their temper tantrums and fighting.

Last night we had out Bible study's Christmas potluck. One of the older guys started talking to me and we got on the topic of kids and kids in church and he made the comment that he really enjoys watching me with my 3 on a Sunday morning. How he turns and looks at his wife and they just smile. He said he likes that the fidget and talk and aren't sitting poker straight in the pews.

It did this momma's heart good to hear that. I know what the opinion from the pulpit is, that kids are kids and they are to be kids, but it is SO nice to hear from someone sitting behind our family in church say the same thing. Because it is a struggle of mine - how *still* and *good* to I try to get them to be and how much should I just let them be who they are? I worry about what people are thinking and how they are reacting to the not so quietness that is my kids on a Sunday morning (or the running and dancing in the aisle or the fit that results when I tell them something) I don't want to be a distraction to those worshipping around me, but at the same time, I don't want my kids to feel like they are not wanted in the service, that they are welcome only if they can sit like adults.

Wow, this post is all over the place.....

I got Photoshop Elements on Monday and I am loving it.....It is making my editing SO much easier. Things that I had to do in 10 steps before (because I was using a version from 1994!), I click and can do in one or two. Thankful for 60% off sales and early Christmas presents (my brother got us a new laptop...which means Elements actually works on our home computer now!)

Owen is 3 and 3 in this house at least is a hard age. He is testing every.single.boundary and limit there is and I am finding it very draining trying to stay consistent and gracious in my parenting. There's frustration that finds it's way through, most certainly and I can only pray that God will look at my heart and be gracious to me and Owen on the days I mess up more often then not.

O Christmas Tree

A Glimpse of Our Weekend

 What did we do?
Lots and a whole lot of nothing.
It was a perfect weekend.
Filled with outings, Christmas-y things, friends, quiet and a day filled with just the 5 of us.

Ramblings of a Tired Mommy

Sometimes I forget how crazy busy life can get in our house when Mommy is feeling normal.

As in, I do not think that I have felt like this in a really really looooong time. These meds (yes plural) are doing wonders for the depression. It is the first time since I have started the meds that I have been on them for more then 8 weeks without hitting bottom again. I am so grateful to God for how He has been working through all of this.

It is never easy - but I can look back, from this point of encompassing joy and Gods prescense surrounding me like a bubble, - and see how He has been working in my life.

Chaning me, drawing me closer to Him and showing me areas in my life that have been in desperate need of change.

Namely the fact that it is NOT all about me (go figure eh)

This week Troy finally had a full week of supply teaching. The first in a long time and we are both super thankful for that. It meant that I had to half days all to my self. It was really really nice.  I do not even remember what I did on Monday but Wednesday was grreat.

I dropped Owen off at pre-school and went for a drive to the border to pick up business cards and labels for my photography business. On the drive there, God blessed me with a beautfiul morning.

The sun was slowly getting higher in the sky, turning the mist rising off the fields of snow a golden hue. There was smoke hovering low over the road and the car would, on occassion, fill with the smell of the fires warming the farm houses I was driving past.

It was a moment from God, reminding me that He is always with me and that there is no where I can go where He is not there, protecting, watching, drawing me even closer. I could feel Him filling the car, sitting with me as I drove and just letting me bask in His perfect peace.

Somedays, I need that. The tangible reminder that God is all I need.

This weekend we are going to cut down our Christmas tree and get it set up, I have a photo shoot tomorrow so I am hoping that it is not -22C again! Not that I can complain. This fall has been amazing in terms of temperature. We could use more rain or snow, but the mild temperatures have been wonderful. The kids have been out almost every day after school playing in the snow. It is great to see them so excited about it.

The blog has been quiet lately.

I've been busy.

Kids are sick.

Learning daily what it means that the LORD is God - and how that relates to my every.day.life.

Because if He is God. Then I have nothing to fear, nothing to worry about and there are no surprises for Him who sits upon the throne.

Are there surprises for me? Oh yeah.

Should they throw me for a wild ride?

Um.....do they? often yes.....should they? well, see...here's the thing about giving thanks and living what I believe. It's that God is in everything and part of everything so if it doesn't surprise Him, it shouldn't effect the me. I should (notice I say should and not do!) still trust Him and praise Him and follow where ever it is He takes me.

Even when I feel like I have made the wrong decision. I know that He can still use it for Him, for conforming me more into His image.

And that, is what I want.

Instead of Decorating

Our first snow this morning. At least first in which it stayed on the ground.

Great big fluffy flakes....it always reminds me of a shaken snow globe in the way it softly floats to earth.

I wanted to decorated for Christmas...but I don't want to listen to my kids excitedness for the next month and a half.

So...I took Christmas pictures instead. 

 Um, excuse, Owen....you need to stop growing! When did you grow up?

Lead Me

Morning Dawns

I watch the sun rise this morning, a golden hue breaking through the darkness. The thick blanket of frost that covers the ground this morning will, by noon, be a memory. An after thought. A reminder of the winter that is soon upon us.

Dawn breaking is a reminder to me, this morning, that it is light that melts the ice, that brings forth hope in darkness. 

It's not so much different then the Light that melts the ice of my heart, that spills rays of hope in the dark places I hide. And I am thankful.

It has been far too long since I have come quiet before Him, opened Word and let it soak in. I can feel it, see the evidence of that neglect in the words that tumble out, in the thoughts that look for escape, in the frustration and impatience that bubble to the surface.

For from the overflow of our heart, our mouth speaks.

Grateful that I can turn, ran to Light and Hope and just be still.

Thankful for so much right now. Life is scattered and busy but really, it's no excuse to place the important to the side. For the closer I draw to His goodness, the more I am changed.

Do I hesitate for fear? Because as much as I long to change - to love like Him, to live like Him - stepping out is a little scary. It requires openness, a willingness to be real, to let others see inside to the places that i would rather hide. 

But if God can change me, work in my life, I know that there is no stopping what He can do in the lives of those around me. So what is holding me back from stepping out in trust? In faith? In the knowledge that my God is all I need to sustain me?

My list of grace, of thankfulness, of snippets of joy continues to grow longer. 

* that hunting season is, for my family, over for the year.

*meat filling the freezer bringing with it the knowledge that we will be well fed this season.

*clothes drying on the line strung in the basement and the smell of clean that fills the house as a result

*decisions that bring wonder and shock and awe all at the same time. that show me God hears.

*apple cider tea with caramel. 

*frost and the colour it turns in the sunlight

*the quiet of a morning

*the arms of my Father and His lavish care

*a theme in sermons and bible studies and convict and encourage at the same time (Change!)

*homemade apple pie

*orange rice krispie squares

It continues, flows, never stops. This giving of thanks.

Hallowe'en and a Random Pondering

 My Big Scary Dragon

 My Princess

(gotta love flower girl dresses!)

 Agent "P" (or Perry)

(From Phineas and Ferb)

 The 3 hooligans hyped up and ready for candy ;) 

Why is it, that as a society in general, we feel the need to make kids/teens grow up faster than they need to?

Why is it, that adult, think kids and young adults should be able to *get over* and adjust to problems and situations quickly and smoothly, without causing ripples? Adults seem to want to put a time constraint on the limits of what is deemed acceptable for whatever. But it could take an adult just as long (or longer) to come to terms with the situation.

Thoughts running through my head tonight and aching for situations that I am only indirectly involved in and longing for God to reach down and heal the hurt, the pain, to fill their lives with His presence.

If you leave someone to fend for themselves when their world has been turned upside down, is it any surprise when they start to fall apart at the seams too? When they push boundaries and put walls in place? When their hurt has no where to go but in, the long term consequences are huge. But so often it is easier to push aside the little, day to day, moment to moment problems that crop up, to explain it away or to simply say "grow up and get over it".

Aren't we (as adults) called to walk along side, to mentor, to provide help and encouragement and a *safe* place?

Aren't we called to do that for each other? Let alone those who aren't younger, who have seen less of the world?